


A Very Kasady Wedding

by RelienaRed



Series: Meet The Kasadys-AU [1]
Category: Carnage (Comics), Venom (Comics), Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: AU, But its pretty tame murder considering, F/M, Marriage, Meet The Kasadys AU, Murder, Psychopaths In Love, Red Wedding, Wedding Planning, crack treated kind of seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:00:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22580632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RelienaRed/pseuds/RelienaRed
Summary: Red and Cletus are finally getting married. Sleeper planned out every detail perfectly. Which means something needs to go wrong.
Relationships: Carnage Symbiote/Cletus Kasady
Series: Meet The Kasadys-AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1624846
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	A Very Kasady Wedding

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Prince_of_Trash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prince_of_Trash/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Meet the Kasadys](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18809596) by [Prince_of_Trash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prince_of_Trash/pseuds/Prince_of_Trash). 



> This was a gift done for my good friend prince_of_trash for a holiday exchange! It was very fun to write and I hope you all enjoy it.

This was going to be the death of him. It was going to be written on his tombstone. “Here lies Sleeper, he died because of his sister’s wedding”

Currently, Sleeper was physically holding Red back. Her teeth were bared into a black fanged snarl, her talons out with a grim reaper gleam in her eyes. It was a sharp contrast to the beautiful dress she was wearing. It was strapless with lace over the front. A thick pink ribbon was tied around the waist. The dress was long enough to hit the floor but not enough to train. In fact, it was just long enough that a rushed servant had  _ almost  _ stepped on it. 

Sleeper had given everyone very specific instructions to avoid Red at all cost today. Maybe it was her nerves, maybe her hatred of everything other than her soon-to-be husband, but Red had turned into a complete bridezilla who was out for blood.

The servant hadn’t even meant to turn down the hallway Red was in. Sleeper’s house was massive and it was easy to get lost. The servant had muttered a quick apology before turning tail. Sleeper wasn’t sure how close the servant's foot had come to Red’s dress. There was no mark on the dress but it didn’t matter.

If it had been another day, then Sleeper probably wouldn’t have held Red back. The servant should have known better than to get lost. Sleeper was even kind enough to hand out a map so really it was the servant’s fault. However the paint on the walls was new and Sleeper didn’t want it to be bloodstained.

“Red please! Its just a stupid servant, they aren't worth it!” Sleeper just barely held her back while the servant made a hasty escape though one of the open windows. 

“”My dress is worth more than their entire life! I am not going to let someone get away with ruining it!” Red got one hand free from Sleeper’s hold and lunged forward. 

Sleeper was just barely faster and grabbed her arm again. He didn’t like having to drug Red but it was the only choice here. If he didn’t, she was going to end up killing everyone at the wedding.

Once the pheromones hit her, Red’s body relaxed slightly. They were subtle enough that she wouldn’t notice. He hoped. God help all of them if she did.

“Fine!” she ripped her arms free from Sleeper’s grip and stormed off. “But I will kill the next one.”

“Just save the killing for the honeymoon, please?” Sleeper was joking but a grin spread across Red’s face.

“What a perfect idea!” Red clutched both her hands to her chest and spun around. “Is there anything more romantic than a husband and wife, slaying and painting the walls red together?”

Sleeper groaned and fought back the urge to leap out the window and run for the hills. “Whatever makes you happy, Red?” 

Red was monologueing to herself about all the different ways her and Cletus could kill a person when Sleeper’s phone buzzed. He pulled it out of his inside jacket pocket and checked the message.

_ I don’t know if I can do this bro.  _

The message flashed on the screen and Sleeper smacked himself in the forehead. How many times had he asked Cletus not to call him bro?

“Red?” Sleeper interrupted delicately. “I’ve got to go check on the cake. I’ll be right back.”

Red, now smiling and thinking of how her and Cletus could write “Just married” on the walls in blood, nodded and starred dreamily out the window.

Sleeper didn’t believe in superstitions. The whole “the husband can’t see the bride the day of the wedding is bad luck” was pure shit. The only reason he kept them separated was because, for some unholy reason, Red and Cletus could not keep their hands to themselves. Shove them in a room together one could expect, well, the obvious and Sleeper didn’t want to walk in on that. Again.

The room Cletus was in was dark. There were lights and big windows but Cletus had turned the lights off and shut the curtains. He sat in a chair that had been pulled into the center of the room. Around him were bits of torn paper. The pen in his hand was shaking and he was staring at his feet with a horrified look on his face.

“I can’t do it Sleeps,” he said with a broken voice. “I’m not good enough for her, I can’t do it.”

Sleeper took a breath and closed the door. He didn’t have hair but if he did, he would have ripped it out. Between Red trying to kill anything that moved(more so than normal) and now Cletus wanting to back out of everything, Sleeper was more than ready to fill his pool with scotch and sink to the bottom.

“Why, why would you think that?” Sleeper tried to be comforting. This was a new situation for him. It would be easy to use his pheromones on Cletus to chill his ass out like he had done to Red but something about how pitiful he looked made Sleeper feel….sorry for him? Maybe? 

“My vows,” Cletus gestured to all the paper around him. “I can’t write them. Nothing works! Nothing I say is good enough! It's all bullshit that you’d find on a card! It’s not good enough! I’m not good enough,” his voice cracked on the last word and he burst into tears.

Sleeper backed up until he was pressed against the closed door. What was he supposed to do? Sleeper didn’t even handle his own emotions, let alone someone else's.

“I just,” Cletus made an attempt to compose himself. “I don’t feel things and she makes me feel everything.”

Sleepers best response was blinking and trying to make it look sympathetic.

“I try to write and everything comes out wrong and,” he was getting ready to cry again and Sleeper had to do something.

“Hey,” reluctantly, he put one hand on Cletus’s shoulder and knelt down to eye level. “I’ll help you.”

“You’d do that?” Cletus looked up with almost glittering eyes, “For me?”

“Of course,” Sleeper made his voice sound light and he took the pen from Cletus hand. “That’s what bros do.” the last few words were forced out but acknowledging their “bro-menship” cheered Cletus up and they managed to sort through the mess that were Cletus emotions.

The result was heartfelt and appropriate. Cletus was right, he was not a poet and Sleeper had to explain why certain things can’t be in wedding vows. He half expected Cletus to object but instead he was on the edge of his seat and hanging on everything Sleeper was saying. 

Once they were done it was time for the main event. Cletus was still a nervous wreck but at least he had stopped crying. Sleeper stood next to him at the altar. Not just because he was Cletus’s best man but because if Cletus tried to run, Sleeper wanted to be the first to tackle his ass to the ground and make him stay.

Everything was set up beautifully. It really was how Red wanted. Everything was white and had small lace details on it. Red’s side was full of most of Sleeper’s contacts. High ranking mob members and other leaders that he worked with. Shockingly enough, both Venom and Eddie showed up. Neither of them were dressed formally but since they were the only ones of Sleeper and Red’s family that showed, Sleeper wasn’t being picky. Sleeper had invited their other siblings. The only one who ever responded was Scream. Her response was a jpeg of her middle finger and nothing else.

Cletus’s side was basically empty. A man Sleeper hadn’t seen before was sitting in the front row next to a teddy bear. Sleeper didn’t ask or object to the teddy bear. If it made Cletus happy then he could have filled the entire side with teddy bears. The only other seat that was occupied on Cletus’s side was a seat that had a photo of his mother. 

Venom even walked Red down the aisle which wasn’t something Sleeper expected. Cletus had gone from twitching to just violently shaking. Through her veil, Sleeper could see from Red’s eyes that his pheromones had worn off. She flashed him a quick dirty look for drugging her but thankfully didn’t push the issue. 

Sleeper didn’t even recognize the preacher even though he was sure that he had met with him more than once. The preacher even smiled and nodded at Sleeper as a greeting. 

Everything went perfect. Cletus recited the vows they wrote together like it was a sonnet. Red was visibly swooning. Cletus spoke of how empty he was when before he met her(“I’m not use to emotions Sleeps and she makes me feel all of them!” he had said), how Red was unique, special and amazing(“No one can rip a man apart and vore a person like she can”) and finally how he wanted to spend all his days in her arms no matter what the cost(“I’d let her fuck me until I had a heart attack if she wanted.”)

Sleeper relaxed a little. Cletus did great and the feeling Sleeper had was...pride? Was he proud of Cletus for sticking to the rewritten vows and not blurting out whatever? 

No, that wasn’t it. Sleeper told himself he was probably just hungry. Just hunger pains, nothing more.

The preacher motioned to Red to say her vows.

Sleeper’s eyes widened as it hit him that while he had helped Cletus write his vows, he hadn’t helped Red. He had no idea what Red was going to say. It could be beautiful. She could talk about Cletus is the love her life and there is only a cold, dark pit of loneliness without him. 

Or she might talk about how her and Cletus murdered a guy and then had sex against the wall they had painted with the poor fuckers blood.

Which would be bad. Sleeper really hoped she didn’t say that. He wished he didn’t even know that in the first place.

“If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me?” Red started. “Because there’s too many places I’ve got to see.”

At first Sleeper thought Red’s choice of words were odd. It didn’t sound like something one would say in a wedding. It sounded more like something someone would say to dump someone.

Cletus didn’t think so because he made a choked noise and smiled. He wiped a tear off his face with the back of his hand. Red took his hand in hers and looked into his eyes.

_ “But if I stayed here with you girl, things just couldn’t be the same,”  _ Both Red and Cletus said the next line in unison.

For a moment Sleeper was confused. Why would Cletus know Red’s wedding vows word for word?

Similar to a haunting nightmare that comes back in piece by piece, Sleeper figured out why they both knew it.

It was fucking “Free Bird.”

Red’s vows were nothing more than the entire lyrics to “Free Bird” which both her and Cletus ended up saying together. At one point they even harmonized their voices.

The crowd reaction was neutral. No one really caring that the bride and groom just did an improv karaoke but Sleeper wanted to crawl into a small hole and maybe never come out again.

To his surprise, the rest of the wedding went perfect.Shortly afterward, both Red and Cletus disappeared. A few people asked Sleeper where they might have ran off to but Sleeper was more focused on getting to the bottom of his glass. It had been a stressful day and he had earned a drink.

The guest slowly grouped off into their own circles. Some talked business, some gushed over Sleeper’s house and a few gossiped about other happenings around the city. 

Only one group caught Sleeper’s attention. An older associate of his was talking business with a few other guests. It was nice to see them getting along as Sleeper had kept them all from tearing each other apart at one point. 

Off to the side was the associate's son. He had a bad haircut and bad attitude. His suit looked high dollar but Sleeper could see the cheap cigarettes sticking out of his jacket pocket. He scoffed at something the other said before committing a crime punishable by death.

Everything happened in slow motion. The son took a long drag off his cigarette. The smoldering cherry on the top fell slowly to the ground. The butt followed, staining the grass with ash as it was stomped out into the earth.

Sleeper narrowed his eyes, a laser sight focused on his target he walked calmly over the son.

He moved so fast that no one noticed. One moment the son was standing still, looking bored. The next he had a deep slice through his neck and was bleeding out. The party went silent as the body hit the ground.

“If you chose to smoke,” Sleeper announced, “please use the provided ashtrays.” 

No one really knew how to react. Sleeper was imposing and sipped his drink as if nothing had happened. Slowly everyone went back to their conversations. The boy’s father looked down at his body and shook his head.

“I thought I raised him better.” that was the last anyone said of it. The rest of the day was uneventful. 

That night Sleeper slipped into bed, turned on Netflix and gave Jermey the lizard a pet on the head. 

“Life. Isn’t that right Jermey?” 

Jermey made a cooing noise and rested his head on Sleeper’s leg. 


End file.
